Appreciating where we are in this moment and what we have in our present life can be a challenging concept. As a society, we seem to be caught up in the idea that our happiness lies in our future self; our happiness lies in a distant, far-off place.  

Have you ever thought or said the words, “Once I get to this place, ‘fill in the blank’, I will be good?” “I will be happy when…?”, I will be satisfied as soon as…?”

What if rather than existing in a place that has not even happened yet, we chose to exist and cherish where we are now?  

I know, it sounds strange. We are over achievers, we compare ourselves to others, we are always striving for more, we thrive in our distractions. We get caught up in our busyness and our stories but, what happens when we come towards the end of our lives and we look back? Do we want to remember the hours we stressed and worked ourselves into a tizzy? Do we want to remember the distractions of screens and social media and things that aren’t real?  

Or, do we want to remember our connections with the people we love, the laughter shared? Do we want to remember our real-life experiences that bring us joy; the things we had a passion for; the knowledge we gained, the moments and adventures we lived?  

As a culture, I believe that many of us are not connected to ourselves. We don’t know what it means or feels like to be embodied. We are often times in such a state of stress, a constant state of busyness and distractedness, we don’t know where to even begin to find that inner peace or what if feels like to be fulfilled within ourselves; to be comfortable in our own skin.  

True happiness comes from within and is something that is achievable and when we are present, we can learn to appreciate everything around us, that much more. Yes, it requires work, yes it requires conscious action and conscious choices. But, please hear me when I say, it is worth every bit of the time and dedication to get there.  

I encourage you to take a few deep breaths and think about the questions below and then take the time to sit with your answers.  

What attributes do you appreciate about yourself right now?

What do you love in your life right now?

What puts a smile on your face in this present moment?

What are your distractions? Do they leave you feeling fulfilled or are they simply a means of escape?

Are you currently happy? If not, what is preventing you from feeling this way? What changes can you make to get there?

These questions are simply an indicator of where you are currently and to notice what comes up for you. Does your mind rush to answer these questions or are you able to take some deep breaths and really feel into your answers? Presence within ourselves is so very important and it takes practice.

When we can take a moment to set aside the distractions, slow down the mind and feel into something through our bodies, we are allowing our intuition to guide us; we are trusting answers to come from a deeper place.

Believe me, I am one of the first people to encourage setting goals for yourself, for dreaming big and creating a life beyond your dreams!  

If you allow yourself to think in terms of, the both and… it is a bit of a paradox. Things in our life aren’t always either or, there are multiple ways to be and at times that can feel like a contradiction but we are complex beings and the way we live our lives is not black and white…  

If you aren’t present and able to find contentment within yourself; once that dream is achieved, will you truly appreciate it or will it always be about what is next and about attempting to find happiness through something outside of yourself? Finding a way to appreciate where you are in this moment while also allowing yourself to create what you want in your life is a beautiful place to be.  

I don’t know if you all have been feeling the energy lately but astrologically, things have been a bit shaken up. Depending on where you are in your process and what it is that you have been working through, the full moon eclipse and the gradual ending of eclipse season has seemed to bring with it, a bit of a hammer. It has had this way of shaking things loose and forcing us to look at exactly what it is we need to let go to step into our next phase.  

When energies are unsettled, it can trigger all sorts of things that we need to either look at, sit with, work through, or release. Often times, especially lately, these triggers can have an anxious or fearful energy. The fearful or anxious energy can be the basis for many of the emotions, the reactions, the explosions that can happen when we are feeling unsettled and not grounded in our body.  

What is fear? According to Google, it is “ an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

Fear can be a good thing when it comes from a place of survival or instinct. If we are aware and pay attention it can be something that keeps us alive and allows us to react accordingly depending on the threat being presented to us. It is when we immerse ourselves in the fear and it becomes a part of our being, our mind, our reactions, our lives that it is incredibly detrimental .  

There are many factors that can contribute to us living our lives in a fearful place. Obviously, we all have our story and our conditioning and many of us are carrying traumas from earlier years that trigger many unwanted emotions within us. It is almost like there needs to be a balance between sitting with and working through what it is that is coming up for us while also making sure it doesn’t take us over and consumer every aspect of our lives.  

My teacher always taught me that fear is an illusion and that in order to grow and step into who I truly am, I need to get out of my head. She also stated, that if I could let go of all of my fear, I would be healed immediately. At the time, I thought I understood what she meant by this but the farther along I go on my path the more clearly I can see this illusion and how it can be completely debilitating.  

In our society, fear sells. The media loves to inundate us with worse case scenarios, share only stories that focus on the dark side, that create the ideas, the thoughts, the beliefs that our world is nothing but negative, disastrous, and basically evil. And, if you’re not careful you too will experience any of the gazillion worse case scenarios that are shared.  

Depending on who we surround ourselves with and what we expose ourselves to, this can be exacerbated. Are we constantly hearing about doomsday? Are we allowing ourselves to dive into the rabbit hole of darkness, death, and destruction?  

I am pointing this out as when we focus on the negative and on the worst possible outcomes and allow our minds to marinate, spin out, and hone in on things from this perspective then we are allowing ourselves to live in fear. We are allowing ourselves to exist in the illusion. We are allowing ourselves to have this energy attach to us and not only become part of us but to contribute to the doomsday collective.  

What is magic? It is the manipulation of energy. What are our thoughts and our intentions? They are energy. What happens when we constantly focus on the worst possible outcome? The energy of lack? The energy of the negative? We are creating fear. We are allowing negative thoughts to rule who we are and how we respond to our daily lives thus limiting ourselves from creating what we want to create.  

When we live in this fear, we inhibit ourselves from doing things that may actually benefit us. We convince ourselves that we can’t do certain things, be a certain way, change our lives, make ourselves happy, be who we really are because if we do any of these things, something bad will happen.  

When we live in this mindset, we are living in a frequency that can cause lack, unhappiness, anger, anxiety, depression, and complete stagnancy. It contributes to a state of chaos, a state of fight or flight, it can cause our systems to be in stress mode and can eventually lead to all types of dis-ease that can manifest in any and all levels of our being.  

Take me for example. I have done a lot of work around this, a lot. I am aware when fear, when ego, when the monkey mind and that chaotic energy is creeping in. And still, there are times when I am on this journey and I feel overwhelmed.  

As with many of you, I am an empath, a sensitive, and I can feel the energy of the collective. I can feel those around me, especially the ones I am close to and if I am not careful, I can take on their energy.  

A news headline may pop up on my phone and I allow myself to read and engage in what the media is sharing, and then maybe I read a little more and a little more and a little more. Maybe I think about certain aspects of my life where things could get really bad; Then I listen to some friends or some family members who have strong thoughts, strong opinions, about the way of the world; then I go into the grocery store or out to a public event and there is something energetically there that feeds this pattern, and before I know it; I take it on, it has stuck.  

When this happens, I can literally feel things in my life start to shift. The shifts can be different depending on what the situation and energy is and it can manifest in many different ways…

My sleep can be affected. My self-care routine can change and all of a sudden, I am not doing everything I normally do to take care of myself. I can isolate. I am quicker to anger or lose my patience. My creativity diminishes, and the lack mentality can come in. The worst piece can be when all the possible negative outcomes (which do not exist) enter.  

Take it a step further, as again, our thoughts and our frequency are energy; my business can slow. I feel stressed. My relationships can be affected. My immune system gets compromised. I feel stagnant or stuck. My mood and energy is lackluster.  

When I recognize that this is happening, it is time to take a deep breath and get back into my body. It is time to take a deep breath and calm my mind. It is time to take a deep breath and connect.  

For me personally, getting out into nature is an extremely powerful way to not only clear the chaos but feel the connection which allows the fearfulness to slow. Breathing in the Qi, feeling my feet on the earth, listening to the sounds, being in the full immersion brings clarity. Journaling and allowing the thoughts to release as I put them on paper helps to bring a sense of calm. Seeking out energy healing or body work gets things to shift, to move and to clear. Becoming more intentional and mindful of my thoughts and what I am putting out into the world changes the direction of the energy. Diving into my meditation practice and visualizing and focusing on what I want to create rather than what I don’t is literally magic. Performing ceremony around releasing what it is I need to release and again, creating what it is I want to create takes the frequency to an entire new level. Recognizing what is mine and what is not and releasing anything that I have taken on brings my power back.   Avoiding the news, social media as well as others whose energy I do not want in my field is protection.  

I step back into myself and allow myself to breathe.  

Ultimately, I focus on trusting and completely surrendering to the flow of the universe.  

The only thing we can control is ourselves. Why waste our time, our energy on perpetuating things that are out of our control? Why create an illusion of something that does not exist? When we surrender to the natural flow and are present with what is, often times things have a way of just working themselves out. The energy shifts from a place of chaos to a place of peace, of calm, of surrender, of love, of flow. I don’t know about you but that is the place I would much rather be. Let’s release the fear.

Sending love and light to each and every one of you and as always, I am here.  

How many of us have found ourselves in a place where we are ruminating on something that we have let go? Something that no longer serves us, something that actually was toxic to our being but, once we actually made the change and had to grieve the loss of the life we once lived, we went into a state of overwhelm or a state of depleted emotion? How many of us have been in a place where we became tired of feeling this way but struggled with finding a way to move and release what needed to be released?

Emotions can be such a difficult thing to process through especially when we are in a challenging phase of our lives. This could be when we are at the precipice of change, in the thick of it, or in the final stage of coming out of it. Emotion is how we put our energy in motion, e-motion. Our energy flows where our focus goes, correct? Therefore, when we are processing things like sadness or loss and we allow ourselves to really feel it, we can get immersed.

Part of feeling sadness and loss, especially when going through emotional change is that they are very inward emotions. You are grieving a life you once had, and this can bring up feelings about you, feelings around what you perceive as loss or memories around what you have moved forward from; traumas or triggers, comparisons, nostalgia, judgements, regrets, bitterness, questions, and if we are not careful, we can drown in it. It is like the memories of what was lost or the idea or concept of what could have been, can all come rushing in and be very overwhelming, even when the change you have made is the best damn decision of your life!  

That inwardness is such a powerful way to feel what you need to feel so you can move through it. If we don’t experience what we need to experience, if we don’t grieve what we need to grieve, if we don’t allow ourselves to feel what we need to feel than how do we ever move to the next phase of where we need to be? It is part of the process.

Anger is a different type of emotion we can experience when we are going through an emotional change, it has more of an outward energy. Anger is an energy of action and if used in the right way, in a purposeful way that doesn’t harm ourselves or others but rather helps us to open up a floodgate, to move that inwardness to outwardness, it can help to move stuck emotion.

Anger can be a misinterpreted energy as we often think about it in terms of violence, as an uncontrolled behavior that can lead to bad results. However, if used in a healthy and appropriate way, it can help to move some s***! If the thought of feeling angry doesn’t sit with you then maybe reframe it. Think of it as an energy of action. Maybe for you it is about writing out everything and burning it (in a fireproof container of course), or some type of physical movement that allows you to let it go.

Have you ever tried screaming into something like a blanket or a pillow when you are feeling sad and are unable to cry? Well, I can say that I did this not too long ago and wow. That emotion I had been holding allowed the flood gate to open when it shifted into an outward action! Maybe it is a matter of focusing on the trigger of your sadness and allowing yourself to get angry about it, maybe it is a matter of getting to the nitty gritty of why you are feeling the way you are feeling, maybe it is about thinking about all of the bulls*** you have been going through for just a moment and letting it all out!! Remember, there is always a catalyst for change and there is always an internal motivation to make things better. You are simply in a phase, you are riding out the storm, you are walking through the fire to get to the light.

It may feel counterintuitive to give yourself permission to feel this fluctuation of emotion. I recognize that a lot of us want to see ourselves as being in control, as being in touch with our feminine, as being peaceful beings and please do realize that ultimately that is who you are!! However, going through change can feel a bit like being on a roller coaster and maybe just maybe we need to tap into another part of ourselves in order to achieve the state we are searching for. The balance that allows us to be aligned, at peace, and to feel whole again.

We all have a dualistic nature and in order to find the balance we strive to achieve we may need to pull from both sides. We have yin and we have yang; we carry masculine and we carry feminine; we need to go inward and we need to go outward. Some of us lean much more in one direction and so it can be more challenging or uncomfortable to go to the other side but realize you are more powerful than you think. Give yourself permission to feel what you need to feel in order to move what you need to move.

We are ultimately the creator of our lives and with that we can determine what action we need to take in order to balance ourselves; we can determine what we need to tap into in order to transform, and with that, how to release what we need to release. Remember, there are phases of transformation, and realize that you will get through this.  Now let’s start focusing on celebrating the next chapter of your life!!